In what started to be a rather mundane conversation with a friend, I was promptly brought back to center. I have been surprisingly content with my job recently and in the conversation, my friend said, "Maybe you have found your niche." All of a sudden I was awake. My dedication to God brought back to the forefront of my being. For the first time, I could see myself attending seminary. I have talked about it for years. I have known I was called to do the work of Spirit for longer than I have considered getting a Masters in Divinity. But I already think too much. I do not wish to spend 2-3 years in school to think more. It has been clear for some time that my path to God is within. But how and where? And what do I do now? The familiar angst is back. So is the feeling that I have waited too late and I have to be on stage in 5 minutes.
Peace is in the trees and flowers and face of a stranger. Love is in every moment of every day. When I stop and remember this there are no questions and everything is right with the world. When I am out of my head, the answers will come.
in peace...
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4 comments:
Surely you don't imagine for a moment that "seminary" will be satisfied with who you are. They will want to fix you and change you into what they want you to be.
But, if your heart is set on it, go for it with all you got! Just don't be surprised when disillusionment sets in.
What I know is that I need to be part of the solution. I've been called naive to believe in the good in all people, to know that peace in the world is possible, and to believe in Love. What I seek is a community to share that with. I am aware that I may have to create that community and I am not scare of that.
I agree with you completely. Our faith is confirmed by sharing it with like minded believers. I agree with your feelings on community too. But, sometimes we try to "force things" too much, and the outcome can be far less than our heart's desire. Sometimes I think the best thing we can do is simply enjoy life with the Creator, and look forward to the folks he'll touch all around us. It seems like it's through that "living" that community forms. He will put you in touch with people who care about you, and love you - in a genuine way. Once we've had a taste of the "real", the artificiality of the religious event won't satisfy.
The Father of All created community around me a few years ago, and it was certainly far better than anything I could have done on my own. The key is to wait and watch. Enjoy God in your life, and be ready to move when the time is right. The time will come...
I hope you haven't given up on blogging!
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