if you look deeply into a tree...

If you look deeply into a tree, you will discover that a tree is not only a tree. It is also a person. It is a cloud. It is the sunshine. It is the Earth. It is the animals and the minerals. The practice of looking deeply reveals to us that one thing is made up of all other things. One thing contains the whole cosmos.

~~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Where is God in my life?

In my daily life I spend many more hours thinking of what I should be doing in celebration of my Life, my Love, my Passion, than actually celebrating. I spend countless amounts of time worrying about the future instead of seeing the perfect moment in front of me. I have to remind myself to see the beauty in the tress, in the mountains, in the shrill bark of a dog.

And then a patient brings up God in a conversation. I wake up and look at the amazing number of different shades of green outside my bedroom door. I sit in a creek on a warm gorgeous day with birds overhead, a gentle breeze and good friends and the perfect moment is with me, briefly.

I seem to want to ask a lot of Whys. Why do I need this struggle? Why when I know that God is in everything and everyone do I not feel her presence always? There is no Why. Why not? Let go and breathe. I spend my life getting caught up in life but I am reminded and that in itself is a blessing and the glimpses I receive brief though they may be are perfect. I am honored and grateful.

in peace ...

Forget your life ...

This is one of my current favorite poems. I have kept it posted in my work space for a couple of years now to remind me. The truth in it brings tears to my eyes.

in peace ...

Forget your life. Say God is Great. Get up.

You think you know what time it is. It's time to pray.

You've carved so many little figurines, too many.

Don't knock on any random door like a beggar.

Reach your long hand out to another door, beyond where

you go on the street, the street

where everyone says, "How are you?"

and no one says, "How aren't you?"

Tomorrow you'll see what you've broken and torn tonight,

thrashing in the dark. Inside you

there's an artist you don't know about.

He's not interested in how things look different in moonlight.

If you are here unfaithfully with us,

you're causing terrible damage.

If you've opened your loving to God's love,

you're helping people you don't know

and have never seen.

Is what I say true? Say yes quickly,

if you know, if you've known it

from before the beginning of the universe.

~~Rumi

Where do I go from here?

In what started to be a rather mundane conversation with a friend, I was promptly brought back to center. I have been surprisingly content with my job recently and in the conversation, my friend said, "Maybe you have found your niche." All of a sudden I was awake. My dedication to God brought back to the forefront of my being. For the first time, I could see myself attending seminary. I have talked about it for years. I have known I was called to do the work of Spirit for longer than I have considered getting a Masters in Divinity. But I already think too much. I do not wish to spend 2-3 years in school to think more. It has been clear for some time that my path to God is within. But how and where? And what do I do now? The familiar angst is back. So is the feeling that I have waited too late and I have to be on stage in 5 minutes.
Peace is in the trees and flowers and face of a stranger. Love is in every moment of every day. When I stop and remember this there are no questions and everything is right with the world. When I am out of my head, the answers will come.
in peace...